Tuesday, November 3

Jump at the chance

Imagine that you're an ugly and horny person. You haven't had sex for the past 6 months and you think to your self, it's not that bad, I have gone longer. As you're going home after another long day of repetitive work, you decide to stop by the grocery store. It's late and not that many people would be there. As your walking the aisles, you turn down the detergent aisle for some laundry soap and there she is. A blond beauty looking at the fittings for her dryer. She is wearing shorts and sandals and a tight shirt. Her long hair is covering the side of her face closest to you, so she doesn't notice you right away allowing you to check her out. Soon, you notice you are staring and haven't moved in 30 seconds. You begin to walk forward and she turns and sees you. She acknowledges your presence with a little smile. You notice she has dimples. You immediately turn and grab the closest bottle of soap and continue walking towards her. Her toes have a french tip and her legs are so smooth. Right when you are about to pass her, she turns and says,

"Excuse me, can you help me? My dryer messed up and I have to replace this fitting. A friend said I needed some type of tape. It's white, but I don't see any here."

You are so shocked. It takes a few seconds to register but you clear your throat, quietly, and say,

"Um, yeah, I can help you. What you are looking for is Teflon tape. It's probably in the automotive aisle."

"Oh yeah, Teflon tape. Thank you."

She turns and walks away. You stand there mesmerized. How can someone be so beautiful? You follow her footsteps and her lingering smell compels you forward like a smoky index finger motioning that way. She turns right toward automotive and you turn left towards the checkout stand. You replay the incident in your head and don't even hear the cashier as she says the total.

"Huh? Oh, oh yeah. Can I pay with my ATM? Thanks"

That's it. You get your bag and head home. You will never see that girl again, but she will be etched into your mind for the rest of your life. You didn't get a chance to say anything to her. You think of the millions of things you could have said but didn't. Sadly, you remember that even if you would have said one of those things, it wouldn't have made a difference. Nothing you said could have changed the fact that your are still ugly. So you chalk it up as an oh well and say that you will see her again in your dreams that night.

This is what it's like to be U&H. So many women fall into the shoulda woulda coulda category, you don't even try. Just once, you say, Just once I would love to be with a chick like that. Just once, I would love to hang out with a chick like that, be in her presence, joke around with her, have her laugh and hit me in the arm and say stop, you're too funny. I would love to have a girl like this undress in front of me and say, "Come here and fuck me"... splurt!

We're all here on earth only once. Whatever happens after you die is to each his own. One thing is certain, we're here now and this is the only time we are going to be here, living this life. Is it too much to ask for this experience? Is it too much to ask for the chance to feel like there is only 2 people on earth and I'm one of them, the other being a beautiful woman and we are having fun together? NO! It's not too much to ask for and I for one think this needs to change!

Listen up U&H. No one is going to do this for us. Nobody cares what ugly wants. If you feel like this is not too much to ask for, then we need to stand together. One ugly person is just that, an ugly person. A thousand ugly people on the other hand, now we are a group. A voice. An unstoppable force. Alone I go to jail, together we change laws! It's important to understand what we want to accomplish. I want to be able to have the option to pay for not being lonely. I want the option to pay for an intimate experience because if I can't, I won't be able to experience that. Should I be denied this option simply because it's frowned upon? I should be denied this experience because of the way I look? The way I was born? NO! I doesn't have to be this way.

In the 1920's, our government, in all its wisdom decided to criminalize alcohol consumption. Though it was in effect for 14 years, that didn't stop the consumption of alcohol. As a matter of fact, it flourished. It thrived and was very lucrative for many people. Eventually, the fact that so many people were participating in this illegal act, it became legal again. Marijuana is on the same path. It was legal, then it became illegal and now it's on it's way to becoming legal again. Why? Because so many people want to feel good. How is intimacy any different.I see many different avenues one can take to accomplish this, but as I stated earlier, it's dangerous and inefficient. If there is a group offering a service and a group that needs this service, how do we connect them? The only reason they cannot connect right now is because it's illegal. Well, just like pioneers in the 20's, I believe I can offer a solution..

The solution...

Monday, November 2

Falling Short

This is where the Ugly and Horny might lose a repeat visit because of something they weren't expecting. This is where all that porn they've been watching and masturbating to comes back to haunt them. You see, when a U&H partakes in the pornographic arts, they tend to whack it. They do it with one thing in mind. They're pretending that the person on the monitor is the person they are boning. They beat their meat like it owes them money. They are never taught nor does it even occur to them to practice for the long haul. This is the time to train for the real thing. A boxer doesn't train for a one round bout. They do strength training, endurance training, all sorts of things for a 12 round fight. If it ends early they are surprised. A U&H on the other hand, they dream of going 12 rounds, but if they go past round 2, it's a surprise to them.

The reason being is that they don't have the luxury of having a sparring partner. A boxer, even though he has fights one or two times a year, fights 3 to 4 times a week with a sparring partner. They practice for the big fight, but they have plenty of fights before them. A U&H has no sparring partner. They just go to the big fight, many times by surprise, and are expected to go the distance. Good luck. They never do because they can't handle all that stimuli that is going on. If a U&H gets to be with a girl, paid for or not, they are being exposed to stimulus they are not normally exposed to. I have been told that by simply saying something sexy during sex, a U&H will explode right away. Heaven forbid they hear something along the lines of, "OH, OH, Fuck me har...." splurt! They're done. It's over. That's why they don't just have intercourse. They are the masters of foreplay.

So, back to the point at hand. Why is it illegal for a consenting man and women to exchange money for sex. I have gone out many times, paid for dinner, paid for drinks and have had sex after. There also have been many times that I have paid for both those things and haven't had sex. Can you guess which ones I wish I didn't pay for. If a girl agrees to go out with a U&H, many times it's just to go out.

"I have been at home all week with my kids and no one asked me out... shiiit, I'll go out with that guy, I won't fuck him, but I'll let him buy me drinks.".

The poor U&H has no idea that this decision has been made. They're getting ready and looking in the mirror saying,

"Ok buddy, don't blow this. Be nice, open her door, make her laugh and if you buy her the right amount of drinks, maybe, mayybe we'll get some. Don't let me down!".

Had he known in the beginning that there was no chance, he probably wouldn't have gone. Or maybe he would have bought more drinks.

More drinks= Higher probability of fucking. The problem with that equation is
Too many drinks= Higher probability of puke on your shoes all night.

Why wouldn't then, a U&H forgo the probability of some pussy for the certainty of pussy. He should at least have that option. The option for sex would be an option all people would take. You can go out with option one, a party with a hot chick, where you pick her up, go to a party where you pay for drinks, dance with her and take her home and do some dirty dancing, or, option two. Option 2, a party with a hot chick where you pick her up, go to a party where you pay for drinks, dance with her and take her home and then take yourself home. Now if you were a regular person, these options wouldn't apply to you. Remember, you're not ugly and horny.

Ugly and horny people know who they are. Some might not want to admit it, but deep down they know. If you like someone and they won't sleep with you... you're ugly. A Good looking guy can get who he wants. If the one he want's is married... it just means it will take him a little longer to hit it. It doesn't occur to them that they can't get it. U&H just resign and say oh well. They could be the nicest person in the world, the smartest person, but that doesn't mean shit to pussy. Pussy wants a 6 pack with an enormous dick or your name on the front of the new skyscraper being built downtown. Maybe the one the U&H wants, has no interest in any of these things, but if they're not attracted to ugly, then they have no interest in them either. U&H have grown accustomed to this. Some U&H, they go their whole lives by themselves. Some have some game to them and are able to get one once in a while, but it doesn't last long because it's hard not to get mad at ugly. It's hard to forgive ugly. Either way, the U&H still want to have sex. If they see a fine ass chick, and they know they can have sex with her, they will jump at the chance.

Jump at the chance...

Thursday, October 29

Make a blind man See!

Having sex with some one you're really in to, or with someone you think is really attractive is one of the best feelings in the world. It changes your whole attitude, releases stress, relaxes you. Makes you feel good about yourself. Even if you had to pay for it, who cares, it was AWESOME! It still has the same effects. It's a little better if you got if for free, but it doesn't change the actual act. This simple exchange will alter the lonely, miserable life of the U&H. I'm glad I live in a time where some lonely, ugly man can go out after a long days work, can go out on a date or meet up with some hot chick who is going to show him a great time and make him feel good, for a price. This is not to much to ask for and it's available. Bravo. Wait... this just coming in..... WHAT??? IT'S ILLEGAL!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Yes, you read correctly. It's illegal in many parts of the world. Unless you were able to select the place of your birth, and then chose to live somewhere where it's legal, then you're out of luck. That's not to say it isn't available. Hey, cocaine, heroine, opium, kidneys, livers are all illegal to obtain, but that doesn't mean you can't get it. As long as the money's right, you could probably get a kidney delivered to your door.

"Where do you want this kidney? In the freezer... ok."

The fact that it's illegal... that just make matters worse for the U&H. It means that to them, this is the most dangerous part of helping their biological need. I'm bringing it to a scientific level and saying that we all need to have sex biologically. We are animals biologically. Even dolphins have been observed giving up the fish-gina for something of value. There's no dolphin protest, or law saying they can't do that! Also, dolphins are the smartest motherfuckers there are, in the ocean.

So, because it is not easily available, there is a high monetary and personal safety cost for it. It's so dangerous to try to accomplish this sort of transaction. You don't know who to talk to or where to go. There are many places online to look for this sort of thing, I'm not going to throw anyone under the bus, but you know who or what I'm talking about. The problem with these places is that, all it does is give you an introduction. It's something you don't know and doesn't have a brain, introducing you to someone who claims to have what you want. You don't know who that person is. Local law enforcement agencies are, many times, the one's who are claiming that they are the hot chick in the picture you're calling. Sometime, it's some dude claiming to be the girl you want. Bottom line, most of the time you're not getting introduced to the right person. If a U&H person has reached the absolute limit of going without human contact, they will go though this gauntlet in the hopes of talking to a fine ass girl and get that feeling they're looking for but cannot get.

Should it be this difficult? I don't think it NEEDS to be. We also have to think about the party MAKING dreams come true. I know, for a fact, that there are plenty of adult women who would bone some guy and get PAID! As long as they weren't thought of as sluts. Hell no!, they're not sluts. Humanitarians are more like it.

"Let me get this straight, you mean to tell me I can make $3,000 this week, this WEEK, and all I got to do is fuck a couple of guys stupid? How many more guys do I have to slap with this pussy for $5,000? I just saw some shoes I really liked." In a heartbeat.

They could double most people's income! If they're hustlers and step their game up, they could retire this year! And for what? They're not killing anyone. They're not hurting anyone. They're making someone a happier person! Too bad it's not that easy though. These group of women are also risking freedom for participating in this. Local law enforcement agencies are, many times, the one's who contact these saints of the night and punish them for providing a much needed service. They would face jail time, fines and public humiliation for agreeing to receive an income while making someone happy.

Please, compassionate reader, take the time to marinate on this. The Ugly and Horny person does not have a readily available source of vagina. Some will go many many months, even years without getting laid. YEARS! That fuckin sucks. It's not their fault they're ugly. It's not their fault women are so beautiful. They can't help it, when they see a women that is dressed hot, showing some cleavage, maybe a short skirt, she smells great, has a pretty face and a smile that could light up a room, they automatically wonder. What would it be like to hold them close, caress their face, squeeze that ass. For those that don't know, when an U&H person has sex, they always make sure the other person is satisfied, in the hopes that there will be a repeat session. If they can make the other person feel really good, they might just forget about the ugliness and go at it again for that intense orgasm. A U&H man will undoubtedly perform oral sex on a chick before they have sex. They will eat pussy as if they were on death row and that was the last meal. Sometimes they won't mind if there is no penetration afterward, as long as their partner felt good, then it was a good session. Some U&H men don't want to risk the repeat session. The reason being is that when they do have intercourse, they almost always fall short.

Falling short....

Wednesday, October 28

Ability to bang hot girls for free

For every Ugly and Horny person, there mathematically has to be at least 2 good looking and satisfied people. We all know someone like this. Most U&H deep down are a little jealous of these people. Everything a U&H has to work hard for, comes easy to good looking people. Especially if you are Tall, and good looking. They have performed scientific studies that say Tall, good looking people have it easy. At the bottom of the study in small lettering it says, "tough shit for those that are short and ugly". The one coveted ability, that a good looking person has, is that they can get an equally good looking person to have sex with them. Without any effort. As a matter of fact, they have to turn down pussy. A U&H person has no idea what this is like. This is unbelievable to them. But yet, they see it all the time. Dudes that don't even try are always overheard saying...

"So I went with my buddies to a club this weekend. I guess it was ok. The drinks were expensive. I'm glad I only had to buy for myself. So I was talking to Jeff who I haven't seen in 3 months and some bitches come over to us. There's this one, she's talking to me and I'm not even paying attention to her and she asks me if I have a girlfriend. I said yeah just to get her off my nuts, when she said, "That's ok. I'm not the jealous type". I laughed at that and I told her I would be back and went to get another drink. At the bar, we're cramped in and some chick is rubbing her tits all on my chest. I say, "excuse me, your rubbing your tits all over me". She smiles and says she's sorry and that if I want, I can rub whatever body part I choose all over her. I just laugh and get my drink and go back to the group. Jeff is still talking to that girl. You know how those ugly guys are when they're horny. Anything to be next to a girl. Anyway, I approach them and she immediately draws her attention back to me. She starts talking about who knows what when the girl at the bar starts calling me over to her on the dance floor. I tell Ms. talk a lot that I'll be right back and head on out to see whats up. I get there and she starts rubbing her ass all over my junk. I'm a little buzzed and kind of enjoying it. I let her keep doing it when I look over my shoulder and Jeff and that girl came over to dance and she's rubbing her ass on mine. I turn around and now they are both grinding me. I was just trying to mind my own business. So, I'm getting bored and I whisper to each of them if they want to go outside and blow me. They both said yes and I took them to my car and held a blowjob competition. After I told them they both lost, I kicked them out of my car and went home to work out. That same shit happened to me 2 weeks ago at some other club. So I guess it was a good time. I'm really looking forward to skydiving this weekend though. That's going to be fun".

The whole time the U&H is listening to this, his mouth is open and is shaking his head in disgust. How can this guy not think that was amazing? What the U&H doesn't realize is that to the good looking person, they get this all the time. They get it so often that it actually bores them. It's like eating lobster every day. Sure it's good the first month, but if you have an endless supply of lobster, you're throwing lobster away. You're giving some to the dog underneath the table. Sometimes you just drink water because you don't want to eat lobster that day.

What everyone else doesn't realize though, is that there is no way possible this would happen to an U&H person. You are more likely to see a unicorn than for this to happen to some ugly dude. You are more likely to catch the game winning home run ball AND have your seat be the winning seat for the car that they gave away at the end of the game AND realized you won the lottery when you get home. Can it happen?.... mayyyybe, Does it happen? NEVER! More power to the guy that this just happens to. In a way, that guy won the lottery, just not monetarily. He gets to experience that for free and without the worry of bodily harm or jail time. Now, what guy wouldn't want that to happen to them. So, the only way an U&H person can get that experience is to pay for it. Pay for it? What a great idea.

"Let me get this straight, you mean to tell me that if I give you this money, you and your friend are going to blow me like an inflatable raft? Do I get a discount if I book two nights in a row?" That shit would be exxxxxpennnnnsive!

Good for you human society. Talk about needless suffering that's easy to fix. Now, an Ugly and Horny Person can just be UGLY. Do you know what this means to them?! Now they can go on about their daily lives, completing their daily tasks, being productive, driving in all that traffic with a smile on their face. The U&H postal worker would put his gun back in storage because he has a release. The U&H terrorist would stop building a bomb and start building a better vibrator because that brings more pleasure than blowing yourself up. Unemployment would decrease because there are buttloads of ugly and horny people unemployed and now they would work their asses off to get some trim. That's how strong the power of the pussy is. It could make a blind man see!

Make a blind man see...

Bang for your buck

Strip clubs are not bad at all. Especially if you're U&H and you haven't gotten close to the fairer sex in a while. "Gentlemen" Clubs are easily accessible in most major cities, and offer some of the sexiest, sluttiest, hottest girls that you don't come in contact with on a daily basis. When you visit one of these clubs, you walk in, a hot waitress comes up and asks what do you want to drink and will bring it to you when you find a place to sit. Ahhhh, the strip club. One hot chick there, one hot chick over there... what's THAT one doing here. You see an empty spot and you sit down. By the time you have seen everyone there, and taken a drink, a hot chick in an extremely skimpy outfit will come and say hi to you. 7 out of 10 times, they will smell incredible....

"Hello" you say

"Hey you, would you like a dance?"


And then you're off. She grabs your hand and walks you over to the dance area. You sit down and watch her as she begins to dance seductively. She will get really close to you at this point. She brushes up against your hand and you cannot believe how soft she is. Let's not forget that the U&H have not been in this close proximity to someone that they're attracted to and then got to see them naked in many many months. They have just won the lottery! I know there are many strippers who are NOT hot. But, for every ugly one, there mathematically has to be 2 hot ones. If not, they'd all be ugly. So the U&H are most likely next to a hot ass dancer. Also, the ugly and horny have a slightly lower scale than regular people. If she has a nice smile and big tits, she's already a 6. Now she is dancing for them, smiling, touching their cheek. She probably looks good and feels good and smells good.. I can almost guarantee that the U&H will be aroused. Like a springboard.

"Daaam". You have this sexy, hot chick who is shaking her ass in front of you and you're getting excited. You're saying to your self, "I would love to tear that pussy up!" and then Boom! The song is over and she looks at you and asks?...

"Would you like another dance baby? It'll be $40 dollars." and leans breast first in to you and puts her hands very high up on your thighs.


And then your off. Now, you've saved time by not having to walk to the "Dance Area" and you're right back in it. Her leg rubs against your falling erection and, like a spring board. Doooooiiiinnnnnggggg! Dam, she smells good. You feel her warm breath on your ear. Gives you the goosebumps... Boom! Songs over. Now she says

"Do you want me to stop?"


At this point, the U&H are in their own world. Mentally, they're tearing that ass up! Flipping her around, smacking that ass, getting deep inside... Boom! Songs over. Now she collects. That will be $120.

Have you ever walked over to a chair to sit down? You pull it out, step in front of it and sit down. But just as you're are about to sit down, someone WHIPSSSS that chair out from under you and just as you are preparing for your ass to hit that chair it doesn't, and, it keeps going. By the time you realize what's going on, you hit the ground. Stuff flies everywhere. That is the same feeling you get as you're snapped back into reality.

"$120 dollars!! OK! Thank you very much." you stand up really fast, "You are a great dancer!" and you're out of there. You can smell her fragrance on you as you're driving home to wank it while smelling your shirt. YESS! The U&H can actually go a week without watching porn after one of these episodes.

In reality though, that's all this is. An episode. If you have 3 or 4 of these episodes, we're talking about somewhere in the neighborhood of $500. $500 to ALMOST get to the promised land. The Ugly and Horny pay that happily. I don't think most people realize that this is the way of life for the ugly and horny. This is what they have to do in order to fill that biological need.

After they have had their fill of strip clubs and have been to the point of no return and not gotten satisfaction, they have to look elsewhere. This is where it begins to get dangerous. Should I, Mr. Ugly and Horny spend $500 dollars to almost get some trim or should I pay for what I really want. We live in an age where fortunately, the ugly and horny can accommodate such a transaction. UNfortunately, the hoops they have to jump through to do this are so dangerous you have to ask, "Why do that to them?". Yeah, let's all kick someone when they're down.

Ugly and Horny people are humans too. They risk jail time, negative exposure, public humiliation, personal harm and all because they can't get it for free?

"Let me get this straight, you mean to tell me that I have to go to jail for some pussy?... I guess no pussy for me then.". Now that's just being mean!

I wouldn't be ugly AND horny if I was getting laid. I'd just be ugly and I can deal with that. Most U&H go their whole lives being ugly and they get used to it. They don't even think about it much. The only time is when that dam urge comes knocking. Then, everyday, they're reminded that they're ugly and can't get any by their little buddies. If that's not torture, then i don't know what is. 20 years of being ugly and not having that ability to get hot girls... That's a prison sentence! No one chooses to be born ugly, so then it's a prison sentence for being born!

The ability to bang hot girls for free...

Tuesday, October 27

I know at least one

Ohhhhh shiiiiiiit, I'm writing a blog. I hope we are all in agreement, times are TOUGH! Anyway, It's these tough times that lead us to begin looking at ourselves and also, looking at the people around us.

It is through this process that I have discovered a group of Nomads. This group has a huge amount of members, some knowingly and other have no idea that they belong to this group. This major minority is among us everyday and some can be spotted in a crowd very easily. They move about with a self imposed silence, always looking, searching, wondering when their next contact will be. Who am I talking about? The Ugly and Horny. They're out there, navigating the rough waters of getting laid, honing their skills and palms as often as they can. Why?

Simple, for the Ugly and Horny people, Pussy is King!

Now, this is not to say, that they think about this all the time. Most ugly people have everyday activities. Eat, Drive, Work, eat, Drive, Work,... they have shit to do. But,(there's always that "but") every now and again, they get that urge. That undeniable compulsion to ummmph! And what do they do to satisfy this? Whatever they can do to quench that thirst.

So, what options do they have?

1. Porn. A viable option. Especially for those that are out of work or unemployed, or simply cannot get that elusive conquest. This option is a band aid fix for a deep wound. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy porn tremendously, but at the end of the day, nothing beats human contact.

2. Porn. A viable option. (No, this is not a typo)Porn is the ugly mans best friend. A thousand thank you's to the internet for this bounty-full gift-o-plenty. I happen to come from an age where the only way you could get pornography was if someone you knew had some. It was like prohibition. Unless you had a "buddy" that had some, you were out of luck.

3. Porn. I can't stress the importance of this. This is the meat and potatoes of the ugly and horny person. If you had a million band aids, it would stop the bleeding for a while.

4. Porn.

5. Porn.

If you subscribe to a site;

6-27 Porn.

28. Other Options. Whew, gotta love that porn. Now, we're at the critical stage for the U&H. At this point, they must do something or risk losing their genitalia to chaffing. This is also the most dangerous point in their quest. Most Ugly and Horny people now have some tough decisions to make. They can go to the strip club, continue the band aid process, but this gets to be expensive. If you're going to spend that type of money, you should at least get some bang for your buck. (No pun intended)

Bang for your buck...